My son, Ian, described Tuesday as the worst day of the week. The weekends stand on their own merit - no work or school for most of us. Friday - well it's the start of the weekend. Monday - the weekend just ended, so that's okay. Wednesday - halfway there to the weekend! and Thursday - well only one more day to go. But what about Tuesday? There's really nothing special about it.
That's how Ian described it and it kind of makes sense when you think about it. Ian was always thinking about things and many times it was off the beaten path of what many people think about.
Ian was an addict - but he was so much more than that. His addiction caught him in the last few years of his short 22 years with us. Four months have passed since the worst day of my life happened on March 18, 2019.
My grief counselor asked what I've done on the "education circuit" as far as sharing our story so that others may learn about addiction and the hell that it is - for the addict and the family and friends who love the addict. This was a goal I told her my husband and I had after our personal tragedy happened. I told her that we hadn't been asked to speak anywhere and I am not ready to do that anyway. But I've been putting off journaling. It's been on my "to-do" list. I finally started a private journal last week that is only for me.
I'd been thinking of writing this blog to share with others, but the thought of where to start, where to post, how much I want to share about us and Ian kept putting me off, so here I am. I don't know how long I will blog or what I will write about or how much I will share. I will probably ramble and use incorrect grammar and incomplete, run-on sentences at times - so nothing professional here!
When thinking of a title to use for this blog, I didn't want addiction as the centerpiece - although it's the reason I'm even here typing. Addiction was part of Ian - but for only 10% of his life, just like music was part of him for more than 50% of his life. By sharing different parts of Ian like why he thought Tuesday was the worst day of the week - I want you to remember that he was always uniquely Ian for 100% of his life.
~ Ian's mom
Originally published July 18, 2019